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A story of learning to stop chasing validation from people who won’t see you — in the operating room
It was just another day in the operating room.
Bright lights. Beeping monitors. Surgeons focused.
And me — the scrub nurse — standing in my usual spot, ready for the next case.
But something felt different.
Not in the surgery, but inside me.
I had spent so many shifts trying to be seen — especially by my colleague. You know the type: always praised, always in the spotlight, even when they barely lifted a finger. Meanwhile, I was working hard, preparing the instruments , double-checking everything — but barely got a nod.
It didn’t make sense.
And honestly? It stung.
When Effort Feels Invisible
There were moments I would do hand over at the perfect time, anticipate the equipments and prepare the theatre to keep things smooth even when tension was high — and still, no recognition.
But my colleague? She’d show up late, skip steps, and somehow still get complimented.
I started to ask myself:
“Am I not good enough?”
“Should I try harder?”
“Maybe if I speak up more or do extra again… they’ll finally see me.”
But deep down, I knew what was happening.
I was stuck in this cycle of chasing validation.
And I was chasing it from people who had already made up their minds.
The Turning Point : stop chasing validation
One afternoon after a long case, I was packing up the back table when my colleague made a comment loud enough for others to hear.
I forced a smile.
But inside? I felt exhausted.
That day after the shift,as I was walking from the hospital to my accomodation, I asked myself:
“Why am I trying so hard to prove myself to someone who doesn’t even care?”
That’s when something shifted.
I made a quiet decision.
To stop chasing validation — especially from people who were never going to give it.
A New Way of Showing Up
The next shift, I showed up as usual. I did my job with care, stayed calm in stressful cases, supported my team. But this time, I wasn’t looking over my shoulder for approval.
I wasn’t waiting for a “good job” or a compliment.
I gave my best because I knew it mattered — even if no one said it out loud.
And you know what?
I felt free.
I started to enjoy the work again.
I laughed with the circulating nurse, stayed focused during cases, and let go of the need to impress anyone.
That same colleague? Still doing her thing.
Still getting credit.
Still ignoring other people’s efforts.
But now, it didn’t bother me the same way.
Because I wasn’t chasing anything anymore.
Not Everyone Will See You — And That’s Okay
In the OR, just like in life, not everyone will recognize what you do.
Some people won’t see your effort, your skills, or your quiet strength.
And that’s okay.
The right people don’t need convincing.
When you stop chasing validation, you stop working from a place of insecurity — and start showing up from a place of confidence.
Final Thoughts from the OR
To any nurse out there feeling invisible in the operating room:
You’re not alone.
But you don’t need to break yourself just to prove your worth to the wrong people.
Let your work speak for itself.
Support your team.
Be proud of what you do — even if no one says it.
Stop chasing validation.
The right people will see you.
But more importantly, you will see you.
And that is more than enough.
🌟 Related Reads
📌 The Quiet Strength of OR Teamwork: Why We Rely on Each Other
📌 What to Do When You’re Feeling Burnt Out at Work (– Verywell Mind)
